~ The 4:29 Test ~
May 12-18, 2008

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Ephesians 4:29

Do you remember when you were young and your parents said to you, “If you can’t say something nice about someone…don’t say anything at all”? Well, our moms and dads were right! In this age of open expression and instant technology, criticism of others has almost become an art form. And if we are not careful…it can even creep into our homes.

Let me explain…You might find this hard to believe…but from time to time…at our house…my wife, my children and I do not always get along with each other. I know…I know…it surprises me too! But the truth is that all of us (in our flesh) have a tendency to give in to the natural tug that wants us to criticize and bring others down with our words. One of the biggest life lessons we are all trying to learn in our home is to live our lives based on the passage from Ephesians 4:29 listed above. We call it “the 4:29 test.” If someone in our home “slips” and starts to personally “criticize” someone else without affirming them…we refer back to “the 4:29 test.” We remind ourselves (parents included) that it is perfectly fine to have a concern or an issue to work through with another person…but, everything we say should be a step towards building up another person.

I have to admit that I don’t always follow the guidelines of “the 4:29 test” as well as I should. But when I remember the nugget of this great passage….I praise my wife more about the things that I love about her…and stop complaining about the things that I really don’t have the power to change. And I affirm the hard work that my kids do each day and focus much less on the one or two things that I would like to see done differently. This coming week…will you be ready for the test?